Legacy Archives

Suburban Senshi Entry #2239 - “Haruka Ten'ou is Marked for Death! (No she just saw a crappy 90's movie)”
#2239 “Haruka Ten'ou is Marked for Death! (No she just saw a crappy 90's movie)”
Excerpt Start - 05:03 PM 12/14/21

#suburbansenshisquad
setsy_meioh
Again it wasn't my fault that Small Lady wasn't properly potty trained at the time.
Mdm_Maestro
Excuses, Excuses
SpeedRcr_X
So
Mdm_Maestro
So?
SpeedRcr_X
So like I was lying in bed the other night almost f[BLEEP]king dead from a cold or something and I decided to watch an old-ass Steven Segal movie I think was recommended by some listicle on my VR headset thing
.'~SugaBB_2999~'.
o sit u war in da metravase?
SpeedRcr_X
OMG the f[BLEEP]king Metaverse don't get me started on Second Life 3.0
SpeedRcr_X
I had the idea for the Metaverse back when BBSes started doing RIPScrip I was like why can't you make a BBS that used doors and corridors like Doom or Wolfenstien and then have an 8 bit Avatar be you
.'~SugaBB_2999~'.
wtf r u tlaking abot i dewnt unastedn dese wurds
SpeedRcr_X
Don't worryy about it
.'~SugaBB_2999~'.
ror u r ole harukra
SpeedRcr_X
b[BLEEP]ch you are 921 years old I do NOT want to hear that talk from you
.'~SugaBB_2999~'.
sew rood!!1
SpeedRcr_X
Anyway so I like a good action flick. I decided to go watch it because I hadn't seen Segal s[BLEEP]t in like aeons
Mdm_Maestro
And?
SpeedRcr_X
And omfg it was the most racist piece of s[BLEEP]t ever
SpeedRcr_X
The bad guys were Jamaicans peddling crack.
SpeedRcr_X
Now, the movie points this out in two ways
SpeedRcr_X
First, we get Hispanic Drug lords who are pissed at the Jamaicans because (and they literally say this) "you stand out. We [the Hispanics] look like them [white people]. You just draw attention to our business."
SpeedRcr_X
So in other words "You're black, you stick out."
SpeedRcr_X
THEN, they do a news report breaking down the statistics about how Jamaican gangsters are bringing crime to whitebread America, and even though they drop in a line about how it's only 3% of the immigrants doing crime, the movie of course completely undercuts that by showing almost every Jamaican in the town doing crime.
SpeedRcr_X
Then to drive the point home they shoot up Segal's sister's house, wounding his niece leading to a scenery=chewing "THEY HURT MY BABY!!!" line.
SpeedRcr_X
Which you would think youtube would have a clip of it was so overwrought but no
SpeedRcr_X
SO ANYWAY one interesting thing was they chose to have all the Jamaicans actually speak in natural Caribbean accents with their actual slang and lingo and stuff. Which, I wasn't expecting. I'd seen that in Luke Cage and considered thart groundbreaking
SpeedRcr_X
Of course here they did it to f[BLEEP]king supremely other the Jamaicians because I can bet you like 1% of the audience could understand what the hell they were saying, and it just serves to make them seem even more alien so people won't care when Segal starts shooting them up.
SpeedRcr_X
Even MORE on top of this they throw in the gang using Black Magic. The Columbians do their version first to try and kill the Jamaicans but it isn't strong enough
// J_Daito //
By Metallia
SpeedRcr_X
So, so, yeah we're in stupidly racist territory now. Then as if to try and balance the scales, they hook Segal up with Keith David (from They live and a Jamaican cop. The heroic trio GOES to Jamaica and we get this golden exchange (Paraphrased)
SpeedRcr_X


Keith David's Char> I gotta apologize. I thought all Jamaicans were rasta druggie gangbangers
Jamaican Cop> No man you don't have to apologize, it's just a few people making bad choices.


SpeedRcr_X
YOU DON'T HAVE TO APOLOGIZE FOR MAKING A RACIST-ASS SUPER GENERALIZATION ABOUT AN ENTIRE F[BLEEP]KING COUNTRY OF PEOPLE WHEN YOU YOURSELF ARE VICTIM OF THE SAME DAMN S[BLEEP]T? REALLY?!
.'~SugaBB_2999~'.
wew jast wew
SpeedRcr_X
Yeah now the reason I mentioned the fact I was watching this on Oculus was because this s[BLEEP]t was happening in front of my face and I literally could not look away (well I mean I could have taken the headset off but)
SpeedRcr_X
It was painful. I enjoyed the chase scenes and the clever way they tried to kill Segal with a Garbage Truck, am Excavator and a Molotov c[BLEEP]ktail, but the racism got to me
SpeedRcr_X
So after the movie was over I looked it up on Wikipedia to see how it was received and I read that some paper savaged it, so I followed the link to the review
SpeedRcr_X
And
SpeedRcr_X
And this was hilarious
SpeedRcr_X
The paper savaged it for being racist
SpeedRcr_X
(which, rightly so)
SpeedRcr_X
And then they said:
SpeedRcr_X


Ultimately, what ruined ''Marked for Death'' for me was its shameless racism. Jamaicans drop like flies in this movie, and they are stereotyped as gibbering in unintelligible Rasta accents.


SpeedRcr_X
Okay see, that bolded part is f[BLEEP]king racist of the reviewer
SpeedRcr_X
They aren't jibbering, they're talking as many Jamaicans actually do. Like, whoever was doing the script actually got a lot of the insults and things dead on.
SpeedRcr_X
I mean, yeah, like I said before the choice to make them not even attempt "plain" English f[BLEEP]king othered them, but there's an element of racism in expecting people to just form up to your linguistic wants and needs.
FireFly_9
I thinkthe reviewer was going the same place as you were, Haruka-poppa, they could have perhaps said "are stereotyped by having their Rasta speech used as a means of intimidating others" or something like that.
SpeedRcr_X
Maybe. The other thing which I found funny was this other line in the review which said
SpeedRcr_X


But who wants to spend six bucks for one nifty chase scene? Mark my words-there are better ways for you to spend your money


// J_Daito //
Six bucks.
Mizunomics01
That is how you know this was written in the deep past.
SpeedRcr_X
Oh I found the trailer but it doesn't have the "they hurt my baby" line
SpeedRcr_X

SpeedRcr_X
I also forgot how damn... dubbed Segal sounds in his lines
SpeedRcr_X
I'm almost afraid to go back through the other films of my youth... are they going to be this cringe?
Mdm_Maestro
This is how you know you've matured, dear.
SpeedRcr_X
I guess
setsy_meioh
Haruka, mature? Not in a thousand years :P
SpeedRcr_X
SUCK IT 134340!
setsy_meioh
I AM NOT A NUMBER!
Excerpt End - 05:53 PM 12/14/21

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April 22, 2002: Ms. Haruna was speaking out against using a big-ass sword to kill things for the good of the universe, when Nephlite attacked using Vampiru, determined to settle a grudge with the Sailor Soldiers. As the Senshi posed and made corny speeches, Pegasus swooped in, refraining from battle while waxing philosophical about the sacrifices that have to be made in war. Mamoru got offended that the villains were misusing roses. When all hope seemed lost, the Senshi got a break through a startling revelation regarding a previously overlooked minor plot point. Sailor Moon used the Rainbow Moon Heartache attack to win.
Hit!Graph
<// J_Daito //> Anywhere in the universe you go, it's always the [BLEEP]ing same... "pin it on the drunk turkish brother".




Suburban Senshi: The turkey's great but mind the samurai's a killer.
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