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Suburban Senshi Entry #2227 - “[Motoki Rescue Arc] Into the Mind of Motoki! The only taste is Salt!!”
#2227 “[Motoki Rescue Arc] Into the Mind of Motoki! The only taste is Salt!!”
Excerpt Start - 07:36 AM 08/02/21

#suburbansenshisquad
SpeedRcr_X
Captain's Log, August 2nd, 2021 - I'm f[BLEEP]king humiliated. Ever since Ami-chan discovered that if, while transformed, she does her nails or puts on certain items like perfume, her power levels and HP jump by a factor of hundreds, if not thousands, the others began plotting and scheming to play dress-up on me so we could bust the f[BLEEP]k through Motoki's colon and up into his brain.
SpeedRcr_X
Now, as everyone knows I have a very macho image that I present to the world that doesn't include manicures, despite what my goddamn henshin does. So of course they respect my wishes as a human being, and chloroform the f[BLEEP]k out of me, having Michiru apply fashion and grooming to my insensate body so that when I woke up I looked like something out of Victoria's Secret instead of GQ.
SpeedRcr_X
So of course I was pissed off and transformed right away with the intention of blasting the s[BLEEP]t out of everyone to teach them a lesson in personal space, but I guess they had planned for that and rerouted the force of my anger out a porthole in the Snotilus which gave us such terrific forward momentum that we cut through the river of s[BLEEP]t like it was nothing, rammed our way up the gastrointestinal tract and then made it back to the mouth / nose / ear area, pushing finally into the brain and then into the area that links the mind and brain
SpeedRcr_X
(So in a way, you know, I saved the day, as usual)
SpeedRcr_X
But now we're in some kind of surrealist hell that is the human overconciousness or Spiritus Mundi or whatever the hell you want to call it and I'm traumatized even more. This is a video log the Prof captured of what we saw. I dunno if our sanity can hold in the face of this.
Excerpt End - 07:47 AM 08/02/21

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February 5, 2000: The girls were searching for a perfect dress, when Nephlite attacked using Fuuraiki, determined to unleash Chaos throughout the universe. As the Senshi stood there, thoroughly grossed out by what they saw, Helios appeared, refraining from battle while waxing philosophical about the sacrifices that have to be made in war. The Moonlight Knight got knocked down, having taken the hit for Sailor Moon. When all hope seemed lost, the Senshi got a break through inspiration from a corny speech by the Moonlight Knight. Sailor Moon used an appeal to the inherent goodness of the heretofore irredeemable villain to win.
Hit!Graph
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> But then the vicar said, "that's not a strudel, my child".




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